Oh La Love

Facebook.  It’s a not so new phenomenon hitting almost every adult I know… and every adult I used to know, even before they were adults!  Every teenager has a FB page.  It’s a way to connect with their friends, keep each other up to date, and feel popular.  Your number of “friends” increases when people who know people who know you end up on your list.  I think I have 30.  There are people out there with hundreds.  They probably don’t even know these “friends,” but the larger the list gets, the more loved you feel.
For adults our age, however, it’s not so much about who you know now, as it is about who you knew then.  FB for older people, such as myself, is a time machine.  Almost immediately after creating your page (which is ridiculously easy) your mind goes back… way back.  At first, you remember high school, but then all the seemingly cluttered, dense and fuzzy space between then and now seems to become clear through the haze.  The dusty cobwebs of events, names and faces begin to pop up in your mind, even while you sleep.  The funny thing is that as you begin to remember the smiles and the innocence, you selectively leave out the pain and the sorrow.  Why do we do that?
I dated a man for a short, yet emotionally significant time about four years ago.  It ended sadly, but not because of malice on either side.  I looked him up on FB.  My only objective was to see how he was.  He lives in NY and, coincidentally, said he’d be in town visiting his daughter the following week.  Would I like to meet for a drink?  Truly, this was not my intention.  He’s unmarried and uninvolved (I asked), so I said yes.  Then he suggested dinner, which made me feel uncomfortable, but still I agreed to it.  We met on a Tuesday evening at Le Chene, which had been where we met for our first date years ago.  He showed up with flowers, which set the standard for the evening.  Appetizers, a lovely bottle of Pinot Noir, dinner, a single dessert with two spoons, coffee and, by ten, we were the last couple there.  He looked amazing, and endearingly nervous.  After most of the wine was consumed, there was the confession, the apology, the remorse.  What’s a girl to think when a man wines and dines her and, with tears in his eyes, says that if given another chance, he wouldn’t make the same mistakes again, that he would make it up to her?  He asked if I could see myself moving to New York.  There was the reference to marriage.  When the evening ended, I saw myself redecorating his home.  It was the perfect Facebook Fantasy.
We didn’t see each other after that evening.  He went back to New York.  A few days later on the phone, in a more sober moment, he analyzed his own words, saying he’d have to think about it.
FYI: To meet local singles at free monthly events, join SCVSingles on Facebook.
Questions/comments?  Write to Julie: writelove@sbcglobal.net