by Julie Bergher

Recently I lost a position I had held for two years with a company I’ve been with for over 20.  I still had a job, but now I needed to find a new position.  I began to interview.  I had one on Monday and two on Wednesday that first week.  Sandwiched in between these delightful moments… was a first date.  The similarities were astounding!
I retrospectively imagined myself on an episode of Sex and the City.  There was a camera behind me taping the back of my head as I sat with a split screen in front of me.  On the left was the prospective Boss, properly attired with suit and tie.  He was in his early 50s, balding and bespectacled, sitting behind a large, well organized, beautifully oiled mahogany desk.  On the right was Mr. Perfect, a “New Yawk” transplant, leaning one elbow casually onto a round cocktail table, holding a glass of Chianti.
What are the differences between a job interview, where you’re trying to prove yourself worthy of holding a long-term position, and a first date, where you’re essentially doing the same thing?  Granted, you also get to be the interviewer on the date (if your date lets you speak), but the stress of the two, although different, hit me that week as one and the same.  Picture my little made-for-television episode:
Boss:  Can you tell me how experienced you are in this field?
Me:  Very!  Years and years’ worth!  Look at my resume!  I’m the best candidate for this job!
Date:  So, Julz, have you had many dates from the site?
Me:  No, not too many… just a few here and there.  (Truth:  Tons.  Started writing singles’ columns from all the material!)
Boss:  Where do you hope to be in five years?
Me:  In your seat! (Truth:  Back where I was before the cuts.)
Date:  What are you looking for, Julz?  Do you like being single?
Me:  Well, Date, aren’t we all looking for that special person we could grow old with? (Truth:  I prefer being single than being in a bad relationship.)
Boss:  I see you’ve been away from this type of position for several years.  Why do you want to come back?
Me:  My heart has always been with this position.  It’s where I started and I believe my experiences over the past eight years will make me even better than I was before! (Truth:  Budget cuts caused this.  It’s not my choice.)
Date:  You’ve been divorced for 15 years?  Why didn’t you ever remarry?
Me:  I guess I haven’t found my perfect match.  The next time I marry, I don’t want to divorce, so I want to do it right.  (Truth:  Being a single woman is sometimes difficult, oftentimes decadent.  I haven’t found the best friend to share the decadence with… yet!)
I know that not all dates seem like interviews.  This particular man prepared a monologue for the first hour.  By the time he realized that we hadn’t actually had a two-way conversation, his knee-jerk reaction was to start asking me questions.  The timing of his questions between two days of interviews left our “date” lacking in areas I consider important for a connection.  He didn’t seem to notice my lack of interest when he asked me out for a second date, which I declined.  It was really all too much.  I’ve been on dates that were so easy, so relaxed and so comfortable.  That’s what I’m looking for.  That’s what’s going on my résumé!