by Julie Bergher
Dating isn’t easy. It’s never been easy. No matter who you are, whether you’re male or female; new at it or re-entering; straight or gay; it’s hard to find that special someone to connect with. Wouldn’t it be nice, though, to have a forum that could assist you in your quest for love? Beginning with this issue, I will be your guide, using my experiences, successes (and, yes, even blunders) to help you through the maze of what we call dating. We’ll look at places and events here in the Santa Clarita Valley, as well as online possibilities – all designed for singles. You’ll laugh and learn as we share both the joys and the disappointments in our shared journeys. I hope to hear from you at the email listed at the bottom of this column, so that I might address your concerns, use your ideas, share your stories, or get your opinions on what it means to be dating again. Fasten your seatbelts…
There is no rulebook for dating. If you look in the bookstore you’ll find a myriad of books offering dating advice. And, with enough practice, you might actually delude yourself into believing that you’re aware of at least the general guidelines. I, however, am constantly reminded that I know nothing. Here’s my story for your reading enjoyment.
I met a man online. Right height, right age, well-written profile with the right combination of wit, charm and humility. We spoke on the phone several times before he asked me out. What a great conversationalist! He had such a good sense of humor. I was truly looking forward to meeting him. His pictures weren’t bad, either! He was about four years older than me with a warm, sincere smile and beautiful short, blond hair. We decided to meet for lunch. I suggested Sisley’s at the mall.
Having such limited time in my life, I decided to get to the mall early to pick up a few things. As I was driving around the roundabout by the front entrance, I passed an SUV blocking a lane, waiting for a spot. I eyeballed the driver. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him. He was an older man with balding grayish hair. As I walked toward the mall entrance, I passed the truck again. He was still there, waiting. I scrutinized the situation more closely and found that he was waiting for a handicapped spot. I kept walking. I had business to attend to. But I couldn’t get his face out of my mind. Just as I stepped through the automatic doors to the mall, I felt the panic. It couldn’t be!
As subtly as I could, I hid behind the tinted sliding doors of the mall like a stalker. It seemed like forever, especially when I assumed people were watching me and pegging me for an asylum escapee. I kept ducking behind the doors every time they opened. He finally emerged from his truck. As I watched, relief overcame me. It couldn’t be him. This man was older, wearing the same polyester running pants that my 80-year old dad used to wear (the black ones with the red stripe running down the sides). And he was dragging, literally dragging, his left leg behind him. I started to go shopping, but then stopped. I went back to the doors, back to camouflage mode, wishing I’d eaten more carrots as a child, squinting as I watched this man drag himself into Sisley’s.
Five minutes later he called. “Hey, Julie! I’m here! I got a table outside!”
It makes sense, doesn’t it? If you tell someone you’re “in shape, swim daily, and have no gut,” then you secure a table 20 minutes early so your date can’t see you walk in.
Honestly, if he had been above-board about his condition, I still would have met him. But now there was blatant deception, which had me wondering…what else had he lied about?
Would you have met him for lunch, or walked away?
Comments/questions? Write to Julie at writelove@sbcglobal.net.
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