by Julie Bergher
Have you ever tried to sell your house? You have to be very creative in your wording. You need to stand out from all the other ads and descriptions on the market. Flaws need to be made desirable, leading buyers to believe that your house is exactly what they’ve been looking for. Lately, it occurred to me that wording your single’s profile is much the same as wording the various aspects of a home for sale – with just as much need for creativity. But, buyer beware! euphemisms abound!
|
by Julie Bergher
Have you ever tried to sell your house? You have to be very creative in your wording. You need to stand out from all the other ads and descriptions on the market. Flaws need to be made desirable, leading buyers to believe that your house is exactly what they’ve been looking for. Lately, it occurred to me that wording your single’s profile is much the same as wording the various aspects of a home for sale – with just as much need for creativity. But, buyer beware! euphemisms abound!
Some of my favorite home selling euphemisms and their true meanings are:
As-Is = When a seller doesn’t want to make repairs
Cozy = Too small for your big-screen television (or, in some cases, human habitation)
Finishing Touches Needed = Bring your own carpet, lighting and hardware
Fixer-Upper = No hinges on the door; no staircase to the second floor
Lots of Possibilities = Often means it’s a real dump
Light and Airy = You can see daylight through the cracks in the walls
Move-In Ready = Vacant
Unique Design = Defect in the floor plans (Luke Mullins, US News, Sept. 2008)
Only One Owner = Who didn’t make an update in 25 years.
Unique = This home is so unique that it will only appeal to a small percentage of the population (Loren Keim)
Now look at some of the more interesting profile starters available online today. A starter is the first line, the “hook” that people see before opening a full profile.
Notice any similarities? These were taken from real profiles with no changes made.
Enjoy life to it’s fullist = Bad speller; likes to enjoy life to its fullest with all women.
Business man… Travels alot… love the wind in my face = A girl in every (airy) port?
After getting my Ph.D. in Biology at Cambridge University = Name dropper. Driven by labels and needs constant kudos
At least in writing I do not like to talk about myself=?
I’m new on this site and checking it out = He’s just passing through… non-committal
I’ve been told that I have a great sense of humor = If it was more than once, it might be true!
Ok – full disclosure – I’m actually a few years older than I’ve stated (59) = A few years? That means he’s pushing 70
I love sports – all kinds = Will be romantic during the off-season and/or commercial breaks
I have been told that I am a very handsome man = By his mother and all her retired friends in Florida (and, perhaps, by the man in the mirror)
I am looking to make new friendships = Did you notice the “s” on the end of that word?
I am passionate about all things in my life = Type A personality. Scary.
I’m fun-loving and easy-going when I’m treated well = Spoiled, immature Man-Child. Run!
At least dating is now more entertaining than it’s ever been!
Write to Julie: writelove@sbcglobal.net
|
|
| |
|
