So you’re back in the dating game and you’re wondering what do I do now? The last time you were single Caitlyn Jenner was a U.S. gold medal winning male decathlete. My, how things have changed.
But you don’t need to get freaked out. The game isn’t so different, it just involves a little more dancing with technology, and like any tool, it’s how we use it.
Before we begin setting up our online dating profile, we need to clear our heads.
There is no age where we are “too old” for love, and we have to be careful of the stories we subscribe to about whatever situation we find ourselves in.
Divorced, kids, 40-50 years old, these are all just descriptions of our life circumstances, but they do not define us, unless we let them. It’s easy to hear our friends complain about love, and unfortunately, it becomes an all-too-common place most people choose to call home. And it’s safe to stay there, because we’ll never have to love again. But that’s not you… so on we go, because you deserve a great partner, now you just need to act like it.
Secondly, what do you want from relationships right now? Be honest with yourself. If you’re not ready for deep connection, own that. If you really do crave intimacy at a higher level, and you’re open to meeting a future partner and want to build a future together, own that too.
The true pains and disconnections with dating occur when we change our intentions to match another. Own what you want. You didn’t get to this point of your life to increase your tolerance for ambiguity and ambivalence, because often that what got us to where we are.
Now, boot up your computer, start up a dating profile, and take the leap. If that’s not for you, then begin by hanging out in places your ideal partner would. It kind of sounds like stalking, but I’m talking coffee shops or yoga classes, not their house.
Mark Groves is a human connection specialist, author, speaker and sales consultant. He publishes weekly on www.MarkGroves.tv and has a growing following on Instagram as @createthelove where he posts daily relationship and dating advice.