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Even at our age there are times, though increasingly rare, that we find ourselves ridiculously excited about someone we’ve met. This recently happened to me. My reaction to our meeting was reminiscent of my adolescence (and my obsession over Darren Brown when I was 15). This man took my breath away, and that just never happens anymore. The day after he asked for my contact information, I found myself checking my phone and my computer constantly. Was it working? Should I power it off and back on again to check?
We’ve been seeing each other for years at an annual event that I attend religiously. I hang with my married friends, both male and female, when their spouses stay home, and he shows up with his adorable parents. I’ve always been impressed by him but, honestly, I assumed he was married. Why else wouldn’t he strike up a conversation with me? Maybe he thought I was involved, too.
In any case, this year we spoke. We laughed. We sat together and got acquainted. By the end of the evening, he asked for my email and phone number. The following evening he sent the nicest email peppered with humor, intelligence and humility – three of my four favorite qualities (the fourth is, of course, an interest in me!) We emailed each other as if we had entered some kind of Email Tennis Tournament – back and forth, back and forth – exchanging another eight notes to one another in just over an hour. Every time my phone blinked, my heart skipped. When I saw that it was from him, I found myself smiling. Witnessing my own, spontaneous, unaffected reaction to all of this was both a source of joy and amazement to me.
This kind of excitement and level of interest in someone hasn’t landed in my area in years – YEARS!! In fact, I thought my airstrip had been taken off the romance map – No Take Offs!!! No Landings!!! DO NOT EVEN APPROACH RUNWAY!!! And why not? Was there somehow a risk involved? A past collision with casualties? There are no casualties. We live through it, walk away, and even fly again!
Just before this, I had gone out on a lovely date with a very nice man. I was even looking forward to our second date. But this no longer interested me. The feeling wasn’t the same. It was like comparing sky-diving to tripping over a wrinkle in the sidewalk. Both events get your attention, but only one leaves you with a sense of exhilaration, and an urge to share the details with someone just to prove that it really happened.
Even if this doesn’t work out, I’ve been reminded of why I date, and what I’m looking for. It’s that feeling of interest on a level deeper than first-date butterflies. You know, that feeling which words can’t begin to describe. There was a great line from Sex and the City that I still remember: Some people are settling down. Others just settle. But some won’t settle for anything less . . . than butterflies. |
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