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by Julie Bergher
Ex’s. They’re sometimes like the proverbial bad penny, always popping up, and just as irritating.
This past Valentine’s was the second in a row where an ex tried to seek me out. This particular ex isn’t married, but has been in a committed relationship for some years now, in the type of self-proclaimed bliss that you read about in fairy tales (that is, if you still read that junk). Unfortunately, I still do, but in the form of Jane Austen novels. The difference between then and now, in my opinion, is the strong sense of propriety that people had back then. In Austen’s time a gentleman wouldn’t have texted “Happy Valentine’s Day!” to his ex at 8:30 in the morning. (I know there weren’t any cell phones. Very funny).
The first thing that came to my mind when I saw his message was…where was his girlfriend? I could just imagine him at some luxury hotel on a romantic Valentine’s Day weekend, buried deep under crimson red Egyptian sheets, straining his poor vision in the limited light, texting to me and who knows how many others, while his beloved is where exactly? Let’s say she’s in the bathroom, just to make my fantasy perfect. But the point is, it doesn’t even matter where she was, the important fact is that he has one! No! It doesn’t matter either! What’s really significant here is that he’s my EX! And he earned that distinction for a reason. So here’s the 64 thousand dollar question: Why get a new girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife if you’re still carrying a torch for your ex? It’s obvious that I don’t understand people.
On the other hand, I’ll admit that I think about the occasional ex now and then. But if either of us is in a relationship, I don’t text him! And what did he think I was doing on that romantic morning? Although it’s true that I’m presently (and perpetually) single, I’m actually insulted that after all this time he would assume that! Or, maybe, it’s the age-old psychological phenomenon of believing that someone you once loved could never be truly happy without you, so you imagine that a kind word from you would be like food to the starving – a bit of charity. I think that Mr. Ex isn’t happy at all. I think that he keeps contact with ex’s to delude himself into believing that, when this relationship doesn’t work out, he’ll always have a fall-back.
Yet, on the other hand (I know, I’ve run out of hands), I didn’t tell him to stop, now did I?
Comments? Write to Julie: writelove@sbcglobal.net.
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